Rest in Solitude
Do you ever wonder why you are the way you are?
Do you ever feel like you just missed the memo about how you're supposed to live your life?
For about a year now I have been listening to every podcast and reading every book I can find about the enneagram. For those of you that have never heard of it, it's a personality type tool. However, it is not meant to simply give you a list of attributes so you can find out how awesome you are, in fact it's almost the opposite. Some enneagram teachers say that when you read a description of one of the numbers and start feeling uncomfortable, exposed, or even angry, that's probably your number.
The enneagram is meant to be used as a tool for real transformation out of our "false selves" and into our true identity that God created us to be. And as it turns out, this is very hard work that requires a lot of patience and compassion given to yourself and others.
The most recent book I read has been my favorite so far, it is called "The Sacred Enneagram" and was written by Christopher Heuertz. In it he outlines what he calls prayer postures, or basically, ways that we can pray that will most benefit us and help us grow based on our type.
My focus according to the book should be to "rest in solitude". At first I thought, what could he possibly mean? I am a single introvert and already spend a lot of time alone. And unfortunately for me, that usually means spending way too much time either romanticizing the future or mourning over the past.
As I continued to read, he described more about what he meant by resting in solitude. He said that for my type I need to learn to rest in this present moment. Rest in the fact that I was created by God and He loves me, which means I don't have to worry about what others think about me. He said I should rest from my thoughts of envy that I feel for the lives other people live. Now that rang true.
I've only just started this prayer practice and it is not at all easy for me. But I know that I want transformation in my life. I know that I desire to be who God originally made me to be, not this false self that I have used so far in my life. And I know that this work is worth it.
Has anyone else checked out the enneagram? I identify as a four. What's your number?
To take a test to find your number check out this site: http://exploreyourtype.com/details
The test is not always accurate because we are all not very self-aware. The best way to find out your number is to read the descriptions of the numbers or hear them described. I would highly recommend the early Typology Podcast episodes and the book The Road Back to You by Ian Cron to get you started.