Just not that.

Just not that.

Do you ever get that feeling that you’re not in the right place? That something is off?

I don’t mean when you take a wrong turn. I mean when you’re in a job, you’re in a relationship, you’re living a certain lifestyle, and something just isn’t right.

Two years ago, I was in that place. I was in a job that was overwhelming me and a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere. Everything felt wrong but I was terrified to leave. My spirit was literally retching as I tried to hang on to the life that I had. 

I finally felt the courage to leave the job a few months later. It took another year to leave the relationship.

I can’t say that I’m magically healed or that I’m “all better” now. I left my job with no other position in place. I’ve had two different jobs since then and had to move in with my parents because I couldn’t afford to live on my own. I left my relationship with someone that I considered to be my best friend and it still sucks. 

But I can say that I made the right decision in leaving because it has allowed me to follow a new path. One that I truly wanted for myself before; I just wasn’t sure I was deserving of it.

I’m pursuing a business in photography not because it’s what everyone is doing or because I don’t know what else to do. But because it’s something I’ve enjoyed doing since I got my first point and shoot camera back in middle school and it has brought me joy since then. I love helping people see the beauty inside themselves. The beauty that radiates from the soul out.

Maybe you’re in a position like I was. 

If you find yourself in a place that you know you’re not meant to be, just leave. Don’t worry about what the next step is after that, don’t worry about what people will think, don’t worry about if it makes sense logically, just take that first step away from what you know isn’t right and towards something MUCH better.

And when people ask why, tell them, “All I know, is it’s just not that.”